Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
