I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
