i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
