normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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