Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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