Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
