A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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