he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
