Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
last night I used snow as a chaser
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