I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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