wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
