OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
