There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We need to rekindle our bromance
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
