Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
40s are totally the cure
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
