Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
