Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
