We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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