I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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