Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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