Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
