It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
