the new term for farting is butt boxing.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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