She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
