is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize