I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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