she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize