Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
