census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
this will be a night to untag.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
