At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
