just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
