I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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