quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
