I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize