I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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