Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
