are you so shy because you have an std?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize