bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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