Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
