i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize