I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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