I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
this just has baby written all over it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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