i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
