no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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