loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
