He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
