Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I died a long time ago.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
