Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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