the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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