I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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