dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
