I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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