Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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