You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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