Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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