sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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