you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
