return my video game
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
