You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
