she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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