dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
