love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
